Guess What!?

I'm bored.
Bored!
Bored!
Revision is boring!
Just thought I'd state the obvious :-)

Stress

STRESS - When the body can no longer fight the urge to choke the living shit out of some asshole who really deserves it.

Out of time

ARGH!!!!!! You're such a stupid fucking idiot! Why are you being so lazy!? What have you done tonight!? You've sat, played on the laptop, watched TV and eaten ice cream. YOU HAVE AN EXAM TOMORROW MORNING!!!!! Why have you not put your head in a book and revised! You're not exactly clever. You wont pass by blagging your way through. YOU WONT PASS! You're going to fail. You're going to end up being a stupid, fat disappointment all your life!

The Penis

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
The Penis

_____________________________________
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have risen, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1. You do not work eight hours straight.
2. You fall asleep after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative.
6. You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
7. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
8. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
9. You will retire well before you are 65.
10. You are unable to work double shifts.
11. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
12. And if that were not enough, you are constantly seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely
Management

Need help

I can't pretend to be ok any more.

Alex

I'm worried. My brother just came in and hugged me for no apparent reason. He came up stairs just to hug me. VERY worried!

Mrs Quasimodo

‘Because it’s better, isn’t it, to be well formed.
Better to be slim, be slight,
your slender neck quoted between two thumbs;
and beautiful, with creamy skin,
and tumbling auburn hair,
those devastating eyes;
and have each lovely foot
held in a bigger hand
and kissed;
then be watched till morning as you sleep,
so perfect, venerable and young
you hurt his blood.

And given sanctuary.

But not betrayed.
Not driven to an ecstasy of loathing of yourself;
banging your ugly head against a wall,
gaping in the mirror at your heavy dugs,
your thighs of lard,
your mottled upper arms;
thumping your belly-
look at it-
your wobbling gut.
You pig. You stupid cow. You fucking buffalo.
Abortion. Cripple. Spastic. Mongol. Ape’

Dear God

I want to thank you, thank you for every thing, and ask you to help.

I want to thank you for the life you’ve given me and the family and friends you’ve blessed me with. There are so many problems with the world, yet you still manage to bring happiness to me. Thank you.

Please help those who need it, even if they don’t believe in you. That you for Jenny, but help her know that you are there for her. Let her know her past will stay in her past, that she should live for the day, as ever day is a new beginning. Let her know how intelligent she is and understand and use the qualities you have given her.

Thank you for giving me Amy as my friend. She is amazing, talented, beautiful and so clever. Help her with 6th form and help continue her love of music as she’s so talented at it.

I know I don’t see her that much any more, but please be with Hannah. I think she needs your guidance through 6th form, to avoid those who will distract her from what she is mentally able to do. Please keep her safe.

I ask that you help Dean. He is a wonderful person who seems to have always been dealt the wrong cards in life. I know he’s not perfect, but let his kindness be rewarded.

I know I don’t realty know her, but can you help Kristy through her cancer. What I know of her is that she is so caring and feels alone and afraid at the moment. Please be with her.

Thank you for my family, for my Mum who, although she doesn’t understand, still cares tremendously for me, for my Dad, who I know will always do the best for me, for my brother who I hope I’m making a good impression on, for y grandparents, who I know are not getting younger and are now showing signs of old age, but I would like you to keep them safe for me. Thank you for all of them.

And I’d like some help. I can’t handle it all any more. Please be with me. I don’t want to be with you. Not yet.

Amen

Idiot.

Today on the whole has been shit. I’ve just wanted to curl up and cry. I did cry. It started with my Mum this morning telling me she’s disappointed in me for going out and getting only a little bit drunk at a RCP. COME ON MUM!!! I’m almost 17 and that was the first time! She told me I’m a binge drinker as I had some alcohol at the last RCP too. She wouldn’t cope with a proper teenager.

Then at school I got a C in Music. I know that sounds pathetic, but it’s the only thing (allegedly) that I can do. I want to get an A in it, as it’s the only one I have any chance in passing.

Then I had History, which went so badly. I didn’t feel that bad at the beginning of the lesson and normally enjoy Russia, but we were going over a question I couldn’t do. They went over it as a class making all these clever links and stuff and showing all this brilliant knowledge and understanding and I felt so stupid because I didn’t understand it. Then we had to do a timed essay question on our own and I couldn’t do it. I sound pathetic and stupid now. I just sat and read the sources and had no idea and someone made a comment and then they all went on another big conversation about stuff and I didn’t understand. I spent the last part of the lesson trying to stop shaking and not to cry. I think the teacher knew something was wrong as at the end of the lesson I asked her if she knew where Jenny was and she said she didn’t, but asked it I was ok and could I handle ‘helping’ Jenny. If only she knew it’s the other way round. I couldn’t help it. I started to cry so just left the room saying I was ok.

I wanted to go on a walk but I could see Mr Williams and Nat and Shell walking up to 6th form. When I went to put my bag in the room with everyone else I realised I had to ask Miss if she knew what time I had to see Mr Allison so had to face her again.

When I walked in and asked she said she wanted to talk with me. I told that it’s just stress of the work. It wasn’t a complete. I just looked like a fucking idiot and cried in front of her. A stupid, ugly, fucking pathetic idiot.

Then I had to walk back into the room with all my friends and go and see Mr Allison for some extra help with the Liberal course. They all pointed out the fact that my eyes were red and I’d been crying. Thanks. I really didn’t want to go and study more in my lunch break, but I knew I had to. I’m going to fail Liberals too. Why can’t a teacher do the job she’s supposed to do and fucking teach us! It’s not hard, but now there’s no chance I’ll pass the exam. They probably wont even let me back into 6th from next year.

Then I had English which was a waist of time and after that I went and had some extra help for Miss Lewis. I still feel stupid though as she led me to all the answers.
After school was orchestra. I didn’t want to go. I couldn’t play the pieces and one on the pieces made me get that stupid shivery feeling that Dean always gave me. Stupid feelings.

Look What I Made!

Never a quiet moment in our house!!

I just got mum running into my room saying (well, practically yelling) that she was off to hospital. Ian cut his hand/wrist open. When I got downstairs he was on the floor, looking very pale and blood coming out from his wrist! Did offer my first aid advise but it wasn't taken! They've just wrapped a tea towel round it. Then I had to clear the blood off the floor!

UPDATE!!!
Just had a call from Mum at the hospital. At the moment they think he's severed a tendon in his wrist. But he's at x-rays at the mo, and will probably have to have surgery! All this because he was trying to put the glass back into the greenhouse!

SECOND UPDATE
Ian's back from hospital. He's going to have to go to a plastic surgeon tomorrow as he's lost the feeling in his little finger and part of another finger. NOT GOOD! He's going to be off work for a while too.

.

ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SOOOOOO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!