ARGH!

I’m fed up with my mum! She has NO IDEA what’s it like to be me! I know I sound like a stupid, spoilt, over emotional teenager, but I don’t give a fuck! So, you’re doing A levels. NO YOU’RE NOT! You’re doing an access course, once a week, for 4 hours! And you get SOOOO much homework! You get less than me and more help and time to do it in! I know you have a house to run and a job, but so what! I have 6th from and a job and a family to please. You and Dad aren't exactly easy to live with. You don’t understand what 6th form’s like. YOU GO TO COLLEGE! It’s not EASY and I don’t just sit around in my study’s or practice music, contrary to what you think! I work my ass off all day every day and then I come home and do more! And still I’m behind! You don’t know how much I’m failing though. Of course, because I’m your perfect daughter. The only trouble you have with me is when I forget dates, or go out not even once a month for a drink with friends! Even then I have to be careful as I’m getting a drinking problem! You have no idea how easy you’ve got it with me. I don’t go out and get drunk, take drugs, have sex. I don’t get any male interest at all! I’m not as pretty as you were, or as slim. You were such an amazing beauty queen, bla bla bla! I stay in and do homework and be your precious little girl. Good little emma, doing everything anyone wants. I may as well just give up 6th form, but you don’t know that. NO! You still think I’m going to get good marks, because I ‘don’t believe in myself enough’. You ever though I have a reason for that!? I wont achieve because I’m not as clever as Dad or Alex. I’m STUPID! A stupid lonely looser!

But why?

I'm sure being asked out by someone should flatter me.
I'm meant to feel good about myself now.
'Someone likes me :)'

But I don't.
I feel horrid, like I was just being a spoilt, picky, selfish bitch saying no.
Why do I feel like this though!? It's not my fault I just don't fancy him.

Maybe I should be less picky and take whatever I can get.
It's not as if I'll ever get much.

Note to self-

NEVER EVER wear a strapless bra to work! It doesn't work!