Tipsy!!!

Tehe!!! My Mum just came home tipsy! I called her a binge drinker!!

DEAN!!!!

I'M OVER DEAN!!!!! I proud (/prod) of myself!

Prefect-Yet another thing I failed at.

I feel so stupid! Why did I think I could have been a prefect? I should have known that dreams never come true. I could never be someone who is responsible and grown up enough to get to be one! Why did I even bother helping out at that parents evening! And why did I think Brownies was enough to say I could do it! AHHHHH I’M SO STUPID!!! I want to be one. I sound so pathetic! Why am I getting so worked up about it! It’s only a stupid name. AHHH! Those people who got it do deserve it. They’re all brainy and popular and everyone likes them, but just a small part of me thought that I might deserve it too. This is just another failure to add to the ever-growing list.

Letting go of that girl before.

I feel like me again.
I like it.
I’m happy and smiling and feel like I deserve to have friends.
I’m positive.
I’m a daughter again.
A friend again.

I’m almost all me again, but I know that I could change into her again. She’s stored herself at the back of my mind so that I can never be free of her.
I don’t want to be her again.
That girl who was lonely.
Hated herself.
Despised her own reflection.
Put up walls so that no one could see within, just so that no one else would feel like she did, but just making things worse for herself.
That girl who felt trapped in her own head. The jumble of thoughts, emotions, work.
That girl who thought she had control…but really it was controlling her, what she was, what she whore, what she said, thought and did.

I don’t want to be her again.

New start. New outlook. Out with the old and in with the new.
But some old things you can never let go of. Or they just never let go of you.

NO MORE EXAMS!!!!

YEY EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!

I'm happy!

And silly-I just got superglue stuck to my fingers and can't get it off. But oh well, EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

Friends

Just thought I'd say I have two AMAZING best friends! Thank you so much for inviting me out to the meal tonight Jenny, I think it was exactly what we all needed. Thank you both so much for being there for me and making me laugh when I need to most. I hope that you both know I'm there for you too if you ever need it.