Fed up of being alone.

I’m fed up of thinking that today will be the day that someone will come along and say they want me. Say that they want to hold me tight, protect me, kiss me. Each day I wake up thinking the same thing and it never happens. Then I come back home thinking it will be tomorrow. But it never is. I shouldn’t be so picky. I should ‘put myself on the market’. But I don’t know how. I’m always this happy girl who’s ‘not bothered’ by being alone. I’m fed up of being alone. What they don’t know is that every time I see a couple my heart hurts. Why can’t it be me? I get so jealous and I hate that. I just want to feel loved. There must be someone out there for me. There just has to be. I know I’m not that pretty and I’ll never be beautiful but people say that shouldn’t matter. Apparently even my weight shouldn’t matter, as other fat people are loved by someone. That just leaves my personality-insecure-immature-a masquerade. I just don’t know how to change. I put on this front trying to be ‘attractive’ and it doesn’t work. I don’t want to be alone like this forever or be with someone just because no one else will have me but I’m scared I might be.