Coursework

Don’t you just hate biology work. I was feeling optimistic about my last piece I handed in and it come back to be marked at level two. That’s crap. It’s roughly and E. Even Bennett did better than me (no offence to him but I have to help him in class). I thought I’d done well on it, but that just shows my biological knowledge.Also I asked the teacher for an extension for the plan of the next bit of coursework, which is now even more important so I can replace the last crap one, as I have my grade 7 on the same day. He doesn’t think he can give it to me, as it would mean marking the coursework that was handed in late this time. AHHHHHHH!!! Now I’m stressed!!!!!!

Getting thing's off my chest.

Sorry. I just need to get a few things off my chest.

I'm worried about schoolwork. I'm not keeping up and I’m not motivated. This seems to be a common thing at 6th from at the moment. I have a piece of witchcraft coursework to be due in and I have no idea what to write for it. It's not as if our teacher has taught us much and writing essays is not my strong point. Also I have a piece of biology coursework to do and I’m crap at biology now. I used to get it but I don't anymore. And on top of that I have a complete block on what to do for my music coursework and Miss wants us to hand the completed scores in soon to play through.

On top of this I have my grade coming up soon and I’m not ready. On the same day we have a big concert in Newmarket and I can’t play any of the music and also that day I have to hand in the plan for a piece of coursework. I set myself up for failure. But I’m ready for it and I’ll pass next time.

Also I’m worried about many of my friends. I'm worried about Amy, as I don't like seeing her upset and stressed. I don't want her to go through what I’ve been through. I'm worried about Jenny as she just worries me! I don't like the way Hannah's changed at 6th form. She doesn’t seem to be concentrating on her work and I know that’s not what it’s all about, but I’m not to keen on her new friends. It sounds horrible to say but on the whole they’re irresponsible, immature and wouldn’t be there for her if she really needed help. All the boys want is sex and she can’t see that! Lastly I’m worried about Dean. He’s not had it easy. His childhood was crap. He doesn’t talk to anyone about it. He drinks to forget. He’s going to end up a waster but he’s got so much to offer. People just don’t see that. They see a thug. But he’s not. He’s sweet. He’s helped me more than even he can imagine.

Also people tell me things they don’t want others to know. People I don’t really know open up to me. My boss has told me all about her private life and her problems with her husband but her family doesn’t know. It means I can’t talk about it to my friends at school as Nat is her niece and she has no idea what’s going on.
I’m sorry I’ve just gone on. I needed to get it out of my head and onto paper.

'Always look on the bright side of life, do do, do do do do do do'

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming

WOO HOO WHAT A RIDE!!!!

Lent

I've decided I want to be over Dean. If i feel myself felling anything for him i'll think other thoughts and if he flirts i'll ignore him. It will be easier when he's moved to Bury and i wont have to see him every morning and night on the bus. I'm not going to think of him as someone i want for 40 days. That's untill the April the 1st.

Back in the country!!!!

SNOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm finally back at home in England for good!!! Feels like i've been gone for ages but it was just a week. Val Cenis was fantastic and the skiining was amazing. The Alpes are beautiful but i'm happy to be home. I can now have a nice clean and tidy bedroom and not get woken up in the night by BJ snoring (which was VERY loud!!!)! Oh and i only fell over 5 time in 7 days. But i still don't think it's normal to attatch two sticks to your feet and hurtle down the side of a mountain!!!!!

Amy

Now Amy... If you can read THIS then i've done the thingy right. (Fingers crossed)

Bored!

I'm SOOOOOOO bored!!!!!!! I'm meant to be doing homework but mum keeps on coming in to talk to me and then i get destracted again (like now).

I was trying to read from a sheet earlier and it was on the floor and Pepper came and sat on it! He had the whole of the rest of the floor to sit on but NOOOOO he had to sit on my paper (and put muddy paw prints on it!). Attention seeking fat cat!!! (but i love him really :->)

And we're flying off to France tomorrow!!!!!! YEY!!!!!!! I can't wait. We haven't been away as a family for two years and we're going skiing again. Hope i don't fall over and break anything or have another near death experience with a snow crusher (my life flashed before my eyes!!!!)!

Russia

Ok...
So how can i sum up Russia?

IT WAS BRILL!!!!!!!!!!!

We went to Yusupov palace and the Summer Palace and the Winter Palace and the Peter and Paul Fortress and a Jazz night and the ballet to see the Nutcracker (pom!) and a Russian night. (phew-breath!)

Sharing a room with Hannah was fun to. We had a daily routine. I would get up. Shake Hannah. Have a shower and get ready for the day. Shake Hannah again and she'd roll into some clothes. Then once we'd come back from breakfast (where she would just grut responses!) she'd get ready. Then at the end of the day it would be me waiting at the door for her to come back to the room as it was about 1 in the morning and everyone else was in bed!

Best bit: ballet
Worst bit: two voices in my head- one telling me to enjoy the break and the other telling me that i'm missing lots of school work and will be behind (the second one was deffinetly, very right!)

The diversion to Millan was also interesting as not only was it an extreamly long day of traveling, but my shoes set off the metal detector and Jack feel over ars over tit!

Oh, and on the way back i got stuck next to Max-Chewing his cheek and making grunting noices the whole way home. AND he took up half of my seat too!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHH. Do you ever just feel like the one that’s right for you s just slipping through your fingers? It’s as if sometimes he’s reciprocating what I feel. But maybe that’s just me trying to see what I want. But then he doesn’t seem to be interested at all. I was so stupid to let him go in the first place. Why can’t I just get over him! It’s been just 8 days under 2 months since we split and I still dream about him almost every night and when I’m with him I want to go away as it’s killing me inside, but when I’m away from him I can’t stop thinking about him. AHHH. I missed him so much when I was in Russia. Thought stupid things like we could go away together and do the things we did like go to the ballet and kiss in moonlight in the snow. When I got back to England and got a text from him it was almost better than Russia itself. I’m such a stupid freak for hanging on to something that never will happen again. I should have tried harder to keep him. I just want him back. And I don’t think it’s helped by the fact that I’ve come back to school and am of course behind in everything and my stupid coursework draft has come back at a D and that’s crap. Why am I so crap at everything I do? I’ve put myself in for my bloody grade 7. Why did I think I was good enough for that? It just going to be another thing I fail. Another thing that just reiterates the fact that I’m stupid. AHHHHH I want to cut now but I can’t. I can’t even do my stupid history work that has been set for ages. AHHHHHHHHH I just want what I had just after the summer holidays back again.