AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AHHHHHHH. Do you ever just feel like the one that’s right for you s just slipping through your fingers? It’s as if sometimes he’s reciprocating what I feel. But maybe that’s just me trying to see what I want. But then he doesn’t seem to be interested at all. I was so stupid to let him go in the first place. Why can’t I just get over him! It’s been just 8 days under 2 months since we split and I still dream about him almost every night and when I’m with him I want to go away as it’s killing me inside, but when I’m away from him I can’t stop thinking about him. AHHH. I missed him so much when I was in Russia. Thought stupid things like we could go away together and do the things we did like go to the ballet and kiss in moonlight in the snow. When I got back to England and got a text from him it was almost better than Russia itself. I’m such a stupid freak for hanging on to something that never will happen again. I should have tried harder to keep him. I just want him back. And I don’t think it’s helped by the fact that I’ve come back to school and am of course behind in everything and my stupid coursework draft has come back at a D and that’s crap. Why am I so crap at everything I do? I’ve put myself in for my bloody grade 7. Why did I think I was good enough for that? It just going to be another thing I fail. Another thing that just reiterates the fact that I’m stupid. AHHHHH I want to cut now but I can’t. I can’t even do my stupid history work that has been set for ages. AHHHHHHHHH I just want what I had just after the summer holidays back again.