Saturday 3 March 2007

Lack of talent

So I got my flute back and it’s good. I’m not. I can’t play now. It’s only about 2 weeks until my exam and I can’t go through my study with out stopping and my Aria just sounds like a load of long held notes with a few messed up twiddled bits between them. I can’t do my scales even though I’ve spent ages going up and down and up and down . They all sound a mess! I can't even remember the difference between doninant 7th and diminished 7ths. The concert music I can’t play. I’m meant to be in orchestra for fucks sack and I can’t do them. They probably let me in out of pitty. I’m meant to be helping Jenny with our shared piece on Monday and it’s a shambles. How am I meant to help her when I can't do it myself? How do I expect to get into uni doing music? What chance is there of me getting into the army? NONE. I’m just a stupid little girl who clings on to the dream that she’s got her Dad’s music talent. That all probably went to her brother as well.

2 comments:

Fruitcake!! said...

*Cuddles Emma*

Maybe take a break from playing your exam pieces for a day or two, and work on something easy and fun. When you go back to the exam pieces they will sound much better. Your scales were sounding amazing last time I heard them so I think you will be fine. Remember that Dominant 7th's start on the Dominant (5th) so won't start on the note of the key they are in. Diminished 7th's start on the note you are given, and have a flattened 7th (or something like that).
You'll be fine with the concert music. I've heard you playing orchestra music before and it sounds fantastic. Don't worry about helping me with the orchestra piece - I'll most likely just puff my cheeks and wiggle my fingers a bit.
You will get into uni to do music - If I'm hoping to then you certainly can. And after all...if all else fails there's always Colchester!! :P
Keep clinging to that dream. Remember that our dreams are one of the only things that keep us fighting. The people who get furthest in life are those who followed their dreams.

Love you x

Emma said...

Tried playing again today. Still crap. I wasn't even playing anything difficult. I was playing grade 4 stuff.